We are all simply children of different ages.
— Gordon Sturrock, personal communication (2018)
It isn’t any wonder that many of us find ourselves all at sea in the waves of global and local political discontent, disinformation, dis-ease: the egotistic presidents, ministers and other lesser dictators of hyperbole have taken up their sticks and assumed themselves of power. Billionaires speak whatever passes in their mind, without regard, because others worship the capital scraps that fall at their feet; corporations speak in numbers, not in the language of people; bureaucrats enact the data crunching will that comes from somewhere high above, unquestioned, because that is what they’re programmed to do. It may sound naïve to say it but, whisper it, there are such things as people and the many trials and tribulations of their lives.
What has this all to do with children? Well, I write in the context that we are all never ‘fully solved’, that we are all somehow making our way, continuing to try to make our way, that we are — deep down, or not so very far from the surface — creatures of shared concerns, anxieties, hopes and fantasies of escape. In short, and to flip that all around, children are just like us too. We all experience the process of ageing, gaining internal encyclopaedias-worth of what we think as knowledge, refining our intuitions, making myriad mistakes and repeating them until those mistakes have taught us what we need to know, but wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with any of that. Wisdom can just as easily be an in-the-moment acuity, such as with child-like presence. There is a difference though between being ‘child-like’ and ‘childish’.
There is a far more positive connotation to the former than there is, in popular modern culture, to the latter. What if, one by one, some by some, we were to begin to connect with one another in the higher degrees of child-like grace? This is not a covert way of suggesting that we all ‘play nicely’ (whatever that means), ‘share and care’, or other saccharine mantras of pre-school adults’ soft decree; this is a way of saying that, if we think to see carefully, there are other communications within the apparent one before us. Children often have a great capacity, in my experience, to comprehend the essence of this.
Children and adults alike can be child-like or perceived as childish. In the negative connotation of the latter, wrapped as it is in a distrust or fear or illness of ease regarding children and their actions or apparent irrationalities, adults construct a state of feebleness, of unformedness, of uselessness. The word is wholly unfair on, and unrepresentative of, the child. The noun that is ‘child’ suffers judgement with the addition of the suffix that is ‘ish’ in the way that adjectives don’t always do (e.g. yellowish, smallish, flatish). Even, if we were to stretch the lexical point, the adjective that is ‘Spanish’, or ‘English’, (‘relating to Spain or to England’), could suggest a vagueness (Spain-ish, England-ish), but not such negativity as we often find in ‘childish’.
We could shift our collective thinking. Connotations can change: they have done already in some words (e.g. artificial, villain). What if ‘childish’ became so elevated that it were up there, enjoying the view, with ‘child-like’? What would need to happen for that to be? Of course, the dominant collective attitude, disposition, treatment and regard for children would need to shift, but this will take time: children are often treated as pawns for adult agendas (the well-documented separation of Central American families travelling across the US border, for example; the insidious testing of school children to meet Government targets in the UK). There are such things as people . . .
Herein lies the rub: we are all such things as people: even the billionaires, the power merchants, the corporate greys in their penthouses, the bureaucrats and others programmed to perform. None of us ‘grow up’ because none of us can: we may think of ourselves as wise or powerful or worthy in any amount of ways, but really we rely on others to bestow or affirm these attributes on us. We grow out, grow along, we gather articles along the way, which we may later discard or keep still, but ‘growing up’ is a fallacy. We might work out how better to cover the emotions that tangle out of our feelings, but we won’t master this thing called life: children are emotional feeling people, as we are; adults are emotional feeling people, as children are.
I’m not so naïve as to believe that every person on this planet is going to get along. I do, however, believe (because I have experienced it) in the notion of child-like grace. It is a transpersonal presence in both children and adults, and it is a connection we can all make if we want to try being open. We listen to the noise that’s forced upon us (even with the best effort of not trying to hear the squawking in the street below, in the dead of night, we can’t always not hear the relentless stream that comes at us from the politicians, the media analysts and manipulators, the opinions of all our fellow listeners): we listen and we become subsumed, we allow ourselves to follow, we accept connotations. We can do something about this: we can think, we can see, we can connect. It is child-like to do so.
We have a common grace, but we have to want to be in touch with it. We will fail daily, because we share our streets and cities with many others, and we can’t always predict their various shifting states of being; we will, however, have moments of affirmation that aren’t wrapped up in corporate or individual greed, the rhetorics of power, or the hierarchal positionings and posturings of dominance. Our affirmations will be quiet, quite probably unworded, full of a sense of knowing that isn’t taught at school, replete with something ‘other’. We will be child-like, childkind.